You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
