Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
