he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
you inspire me to be a worse person
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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