dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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