Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
You were trust falling into bushes
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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