You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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