I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Your topless pictures make me question reality
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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