he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
organizing the empties. That sober.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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