Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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