I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
