I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
