I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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