Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
