I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
