This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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