babies were throwing up all over the place
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
