i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
