Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize