Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
