I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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