Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
ok first of all what the fuck
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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