hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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