People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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