I CAN MOONWALK!
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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