I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
