I only kidnapped one of them. chill
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
