i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
we're so committed to being not committed
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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