you turned your livingroom into a bong?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
accomplished twins. life is a go
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
