I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
