I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Randomize
