I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
