In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
