had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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