Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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