She announced her abortion via fbk
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
