I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Randomize
