Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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