Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Randomize
