i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
