Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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