Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
