The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Less talking, more tequila
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
