i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
