I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
