I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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