after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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