how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
