Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
