The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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