FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
ttyl tear gas
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
