On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
