I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
