STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize