My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
