Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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