I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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