Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
