if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
