No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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