I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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