you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize