Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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