yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
you guys were way drunker than both of me
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
