I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize