In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize